"The Venus de Milo is charming; We must get her moved, free of harming. The crate, though, won't hold 'er, We'll chop at the shoulder," Said Tom, in a manner disarming.> The dirt that fell off when we move her, Needs clearing, and men that's a cue fer, A suction machine That will make things pristine: Just study and watch this manoeuvre.
She taunted, and scolded and goaded; But tom got a gun: "It's loaded, So don't think I'm bragging, You keep up your nagging, I'll shoot off your head," Tom exploded.
To restaurant manager, Jones: "This meal has the taste of dry bones, Don't give the chef compliments, For such lack of condiments," Said Tom in unsavoury tones.
Our Tom rapped his fist on the table: "Now ladies and gents, I'm unable To find us a stall For this poor horse at all," Said tom in a manner unstable.
"This Latin stuff sur is a bind, These verb conjugations, I find, I can't hammer down, And as for the nouns,: Mensa, mensam... No!" Tom declined.
"Oh Cynthia, darling, come here,
I'll murmur sweet nothings, my dear.
I'll be yours, till cars
Can fly to the stars.
It's true," whispered Tom in Cyn's ear.
Not many dictionaries define "Tom Swifty". One that does is _The Random House Dictionary of the English Language_, 1st edition (1966):
Tom Swiftie, a play on words that follows an unvarying pattern and relies for its humor on a punning relationship between the way an adverb describes a speaker and at the same time refers significantly to the import of the speaker's statement, as in _"I know who turned off the lights," Tom hinted darkly._ [named after a narrative mannerism characteristic of the _Tom Swift_ American series of adventure novels for boys]
In actual use, "Tom Swifty" seems to have a somewhat broader meaning, and includes the form christened "croakers" by Roy Bongartz, wherein a verb rather than an adverb supplies the pun (e.g. "I'm dying", he croaked).
"Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?" asked Tom unselfconsciously.
Tom Swift was the brainchild of Edward L. Stratemeyer (1862-1930). Stratemeyer first used the name "Tom Swift" for the title character in "Shorthand Tom; or, the exploits of a young reporter", serialized in 1894. Sixteen years later he re-used the name for a new character, an ingenious youth whose amazing scientific inventions and discoveries would carry him to weird and wonderful places. The Tom Swift adventure series, which was published under the pseudonym Victor Appleton, began with _Tom Swift and his motor-cycle; or Fun and Adventure on the road_ in 1910, and continued until 1935 (5 years after Stratemeyer's death!). Stratemeyer was also the creator of the Bobbsey Twins, Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, and other lesser-known series. Stratemeyer only supplied the characters and the (repetitive) plots for his books; he had a syndicate of some 20 hack writers to do the actual writing. The chief actual writer of the Tom Swift books was Howard Roger Garis (1873-1962). After Stratemeyer's death, the syndicate was taken over by his daughter, Harriet S. Adams, who in 1954 started the "Tom Swift, Jr." series under the pseudonym Victor Appleton II.
The "narrative mannerism" that the Random House Dictionary mentions was not the Tom Swifty as such, but merely the laboured avoidance of the unadorned use of the word "said". Tom never merely "said" anything; he asserted, asseverated, averred, chuckled, declared, ejaculated, expostulated, grinned (plainly or mischievously), groaned, quipped, or smiled. In particular, sentences of the form: "---", Tom said ---ly. were used ad nauseam. Then one day day someone decided to satirize the mannerism by using puns, and the Tom Swifty was born.
I am ignorant of who first used the humorous form of Tom Swifty, or of whether the form is older than the name. I seem to recall once reading that "'One or two lumps?' she asked sweetly" dates from the early part of this century, but I have lost the reference. Perhaps it was Dorothy Parker or one of her fellow Algonquin wits, who were fond of a game called "Give me a sentence", where the challenged party had to supply a sentence punning on a given word. * Mark Israel *
Last updated: Mon, 18 Dec 2000.