A beam. Down come Kirrk and old Spock; They find themselves stood on a rock, Confronting a druid: "Welcome to Clwyd," He says. Then to Spock: "What's up, doc?"
"Oh hell, "says Spock. "Why is it that, Wherever I go, there's some prat, Thinks me, with dderision, A paediatrician? Who wrote 'bout the cat with a hat?"
"Now Spock," says Kirk, "Chill out, hang loose. You're thinking of that Doctor Seuss, Doc Spock was a phoney, Talked utter baloney, On how to bring up a papoose. "Now druid, we've been out of luck; Been light-years without a good fuck. Nowt but a young houri On Alpha Centauri, And a fat Betelgeusian duck."
So druid Alf starts on his sales Talk: "This thing here never fails, I got it mail or- Der from Ogg's hardware store, Attracts girls from all over Wales."
He delves in his robe for to show it, A whistle-type thing. "you just blow it, And girls will come visit." Says Kirk: "Spock, what is it?" "A fife, Jim, but not as we know it."
The whip-poor-will sings for his lass; (That's a nightjar, Brits.) The shades of the night now fall fast... Or as poets say In their flowery way: 'Tis dark as a coal miner's ass.
Thus Spock and Kirk trudge through the gloom, A dwelling they spy, none too soon. A toot on the flute Makes a hoot like a coot, And there, in the light of the moon...
And now in suspense I will keep You, while my poor brainwaves can creep, To bring the denoue- ment, (As yet I've no clue,) A fair bet though, that It involves sheep.
A sign reads "The Sisters of Percy". Spock cries "Kirk, we got to reverse!" He Runs, but too late... We all know his fate... "It's Sister Christina. Cry Mercy!"
There's no time to stand round and mope. Kirk thinks, gee, we've only one hope. Grabs Spock by the ears, Despite Chrissie's jeers, Screams "Beam us up Spotty, you dope!"
The moral of this tale, my dears, Don't let fall on deaf spock-ears, Is don't flaunt your whistle, Or mad Sister Chris'll Soon have your manhood, I fears.
Last updated: Tue, 27 Jun 2000.