Although I am aged 79, In the army I'm doing just fine. And I've this commendation From a most grateful nation, For gallantry in the front line.
The en'my I faced single handed, For I heard not "Retreat!", as commanded, And the foe, I'd not flee 'em, I didn't e'en see 'em, For I'm deaf and half-blind, I'll be candid.
And anyhow, I couldn't crawl, Whaat with my arthritis and all The pains in my hip, That were giving me gyp If I *had* heard that officer call.
So there I just had to reside, 'Til the counter-attack by our side, Then they called me a hero, For showing no fear, oh They told me that I might have died.
I go to the regiment's functions, And pick up some dame at the luncheons, 'Cos strictly between us, I've still got a penis, That works with some gal in conjunction.
Tiddy. I'll add an explanatory note. In response to a spammer I wrote, Some doggerel verse. (This is bad? That was worse!) As a verbalised kick in the throat.
He advertised stuff 'bout militia, And rather than flames up his fissure, I mocked with a poem, I thought - that'll show 'im. And that's the above, Get the picture?
Last updated: Mon, 13 Sep 1999.