In the south west of England it's clear
That scrumpy's more popular than beer.
In the evenings we troop,
And risk drinkers droop
to the pub, for a pint of good cheer.

In Devon the tree roots they spray
With scrumpy each 15th of May
In the hope that the flow
Will make the tree grow,
As to the tree spirit they pray.

And though non-believers may hoot,
In Dorset a shotgun they shoot
In the branches, to fright
Any evil tree sprite
Who'll prevent it producing good fruit.

And following this celebration,
There's usually much fornication,
For with scrumpy juice
Inhibitions are loosed
And they're at it with no hesitation.

Tiddy Ogg.
[I believe that European Union directives have banned several of the above practices
in the last few years, but not the last, thank heaven.]

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Last updated: Tue, 03 Apr 2001.