This story was told to me twenty years ago, the narrator claiming it concerned PLUTO, (Pipe Line Under The Ocean.) His father was one of the contractors involved, (the one I call Harry.) Looking up the facts on the web

tends to disprove this, so it was either some other pipe, or else just a very good story.

I'll tell you of Harry, who dealt not in gems
Or gold, but in old metal scrap,
Whose yard was located alongside the thames,
And also his rival, Jock Strap.

In wartime a cross-channel pipeline was laid,
To take motor fuel to France.
An ad to remove this pipe now was displayed,
And Harry and Jock took their chance.

And Jock, though a Scotsman Wasn't too mean
To offer a viable bid,
In fact, to Thwart Harry, Jock Strap was so keen,
That the tender he won, by ten quid.

He then had to hire a rather small boat,
Complete with an outboard and oars,
Which cost poor old Jock near his very last groat,
As he set off for Normandy's shores.

He reached La Belle France, where he found the pipe's end,
And as any thrue Gaelic man'll
Determined no more cash on fuel he'd spend
In sailing back home 'cross the channel.

The copper tube's end grasped in his hairy paw,
He hauled it with all of his strength,
Whereon a ship's crew man, adept with a saw,
Cut, stowed it along the ship's length.

And thus canny Jock, Scot of most frugal type,
Achieved his free passaging wish,
By chopping up hundreds of section of pipe,
To haul himself in, like a fish.

One error, however, was made by our Jock,
Which caused him to near shed a tear;
His premises boasted no kind of a dock,
But Harry, next door, had a pier.

So Jock went to Harry, abject, cap in hand,
Explaining to Harry his need
For use of the jetty, in order to land
His treasure... and Harry agreed.

So Jock brought his truck down alongside the yard
With anticipation intense,
To see Harry's menhaul the load from the hard, 
And toss the tubes over the fence.

But he soon roared with rage, and his hands he was wringing;
He only received one in two,
While down in the scrapyard old Harry was singing:
"One for me Jock, and here's one for you."

more historical malfeasance

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006