The following harrowing tale,
Concerning a predat'ry male,
May well cause distress
To the gal here unless
Her name I inscribe here in braille.

"Now how, Ogg, you gonna do that?"
You yell, "'Cos my telly screen's flat."
I haven't gone potty,  (allegedly)
I'll christen her Dotty,
You'll just have to make do with that.

One evening young Dottdy was playing
With two brats, and sadly was saying:
"Those dicks are so small,
They're no use at all,
For a real man I'd better be praying."

And such is the value of prayer,
That all at once, stood standing there,
A man, p'raps half goat,
With a hell of a choat,
That arose through his thick pubic hair.

This reprobate looked at the trio,
Said "Come on, let's fly down to Rio,
The time is now ripe."
Whereon Dot grabs hispipe,
And blows it, allegro con brio.  (whatever that means.)

That pipe, that before was so bendy,
Grows stiff at the sight of our Dotty...

Oh hell, what a drag!
Cat's out of the bag....
OK so that tart's name is Wendy.

So now she has lost anonymity,
That quality, which like virginity,
Once lost for the first
Time, it can't be reversed,
Though you wait from today to infinity.

"Those brothers of yours seem quite witless.
For travel, I quite doubt their fitness.
But they'd better come,
Or they'll run to their mum,
And gee, I don't want any witness."

They jump in that dude's private jet,
Our Wendy's now horny and wet.
And up in the sky,
She joins the mile-high
Club, on the route to Tibet.

He does though, a right turn to Cairo,
And meets in the souk his friend Spiro,
To whom he does sell
Those boys into hell
As their asses that pimp plies for hire-o.

You think that this tale's pretty sick?
Don't worry, revenge will come quick...
On a trip down the Nile,
A great crocodile,
Chomps off that randy sod's prick.

So sans genitalia, he's ramblin'
Playing his pipe, while he's amblin'
And he charms all the rats,
And the villagers' brats,
'Til he meets his demise up in Hamelin.

And what about Wendy Dar-lin'?
The pope has forgiven her sin.
Her body's on hire
To the Vatican choir...

Wendy - saints go marching in.

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Last updated: Thu, 3 Feb 2000.