An old hill-billy named Don,
Having used the out-door john,
Left the door wide
To let fresh air inside,
And went in to his wife and his son.

The wind blowing hard then, quite soon
Came along a red toy balloon.
It came in through the door,
To the pan, not the floor,
And And stayed there until nearly noon.

Just then the wife came outside,
And there in the john she espied
A great red protusion - 
No, 'twas no illusion - 
And rushing straight indoors she cried ...

"Oh, Don see what you've passed.
That must have come out of your ass.
Now son, get the quack,
And hurry right back."
The boy scuttled off, breathing fast.

The doctor up to the house sped,
And the woman now frantically said:
"How could this appear
From my husband's rear."
The doctor, at a loss, scratched his head.

From his bag he produced a thin rod,
And gave the balloon quite a prod.
It went off with a bang,
And back they all sprang.
Shouting "Heavens!", "Good Lord!" and "My God!"

Wiping the mess from his chin,
The doctor just managed a grin.
"I 've practised round here
For near forty year,
And I've ne'er seen a fart with a skin."

Tiddy Ogg.

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Last updated: Sun, 12 Sep 1999.
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