Jeeves and Wooster.

Said rich silly ass Bertie Wooster, "I can't get the gels like I used ter. So Jeeves, what advice?" Said Jeeves in a trice: "You need sir, some kind of a booster. "Refraining from circumlocution, The boffins provide a solution. With things pharmaceutical To strengthen your cuticle, Your todger, and your resolution." "Good show! Toddle down to the village, And take care avoiding a spillage, Fetch from the pill pedlar, Old Whatsisname Medlar, So crumpet again I may pillage." "At once, sir." The butler swans off, (Genteelly hides laugh with a cough," Abandoning Bertie To dreams about flirty Young wenches that he'd like to boff. Returns Jeeves, with bottle of pills: "Now sir, these will cure all your ills. Before you have fun, Consume, sir, but one, For an excess of jollip oft kills." (1) "Tomorrow's Aunt Agatha's `do'," Said Bertie. "There's often a few Attractive young fillies Awaiting my willie's Attention, I'll bag one or two." So Bert tootles off to his Aunts, And gives several fillies a dance, And fondles the booby Of young Lady Ruby, Who gives him a stroke on the pants. "Oh heavens," thinks Bert, all a-quiver, "I'll soon have to stand and deliver." So his wine glass he fills, Gulps the whole jar of pills, Then off up the staircase, 'long wiv 'er. (2) Now children, as now you must know, Discretion I'd usually show, Of matters lascivious, And leave you oblivious, Of acts between lady and beau. But here I must plead, it's contextual, To speak upon matters quite sexual. Demands of this fable Mean I must be able Or Bertie-like, prove ineffectual. Thus, Bert, with a whoop and a holler, Climbs staircase, his lady to foller, Desire growing pent As he makes his ascent, He's hot, not just under the collar. The boudoir reached, much excitation, Is caused by the gel's tittilation, As slowly she peels Off her clothes, and reveals, A sight that would cause agitation... ...In even a celibate priest. The globes shown, as bra is released. And then as her drawers Fall, the gentleman roars, And drools like a ravening beast. He tears off his clothes, soon is showing, A rod, huge, its tip fairly glowing. They both stand amazed, For as on it they've gazed, They see it's Two feet long, still growing. "My lord, it seems wrong to complain, But that thing will split me in twain, No, please keep away! I cannot here stay. No Bertie, I beg you, refrain!" Too late, he's inserted that choat, And they toss like a storm-ravaged boat, That thing still expanding, The tip of it landing At last in the back of her throat. One more thrust, an ecstatic cry, His sperm shoot from mouth to his eye, And with an explosion, A frightful commotion, In climactic orgasm die. Remains of the pair were interred, Together, both Bertie and bird, If you gotta go, That's the best way I know, , But the moral, from what there occurred... When taking pills, please read the label, , If wishing such sport to enable, For though you're depressive, If length's not excessive, No use is an exploding cable.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006