The coach road from London to Bath. Inside: Lord and Lady McGrath, With daughter, la belle Clarissa. A yell! A horseman is blocking their path. Hey! Stan (Dandy) Liver's my name. And stealing from travellers my game, Especially when posh, So hand o'er your dosh; And also I'll take that young dame." The gun of the highwayman bold Don't waver; they give him their gold, And poor little Clarrie, Has no chance to tarry, Stan drags her out into the cold. He bundles her onto his horse, And mutters in language most coarse, Of sexual plans For his huge throbbing glans, And her being taken by force. They stop in a warm woodland glade, He stands eyeing up our fair maid. She lifts up her dress, In hopes to impress: "This bitch really wants to get laid!" Half smiling, she gives him a glance, As his fumbling hands pull down his pants, She grabs for the purse Of gold: With a curse, He lunges, falls, she takes her chance. Still holding aloft her silk gown, She's up on his horse, off to town The moral, you'll master: A gal can run faster With skirt raised, than man with pants down.
Monday, March 21, 2005