Hitler - his part in my downfall.

* For best results a working knowledge of gibberish is recommended.

Some tart, she was Austro-Hungarian,
Who called herself, strangely, an Aryan,
Got fucked by a gander,
And bred the commander
Of Germany. Was he a scary 'un!

The poor little sod had no knees, 
Because he was half mensch half geese,
So off he would march
With legs stiff as starch,
And dick likewise, girls for to tease.

The country's state he'd not endure; a
Man like him must have a cure; a
Dream such as this,
Born of Heineken piss,  [OK they spell it pils]
Would truly come, with  *him* the fuhrer.

He learned to fly bombers like Stukas,
And take frauleins with big bazookas,
They'd pull out his paddle,
Then it they would straddle,
And thought him a right proper fuka.

Although he was unitesticular,
With girls he was none too particular,
And sport he'd engage in,
With many a madchen
Prone, supine or quite perpendicular.

He liked it best up in the luft  [=sky/air]
And many the girl there he stuft,
But all his exertions,
In willy immersions
Did never get one up the duft.  [Up the duff = Brit slang for pregnant.]

One day he was up in a Heinkel,
And fancied the need for a teinkel,
He pissed out the door,
It slammed! Was he sore!
And Adolf lost half of his weinkel.*

Psychiatrists, most themselves sick,
Will tell you that with half a dick,
And one ball's traumatic,
But being pragmatic,
It's clear why he turned out a prick.

Now all of the girls turned him down,
Refuse his advance with a frown;
He made war instead
Of love, now his bed,
Held only his whore Eva Braun.

And that's why he grew a moustache,
To tickle that frau's foetid gash,
While she sucked what's left
Of his dick, sadly cleft,
Demanding an oodle of cash.

Now pictures of men made him dampf,
His buttocks round dicks he would clampf,
Most often with Himmler,
Whose tastes were quite simmler,
And Adolf soon called him "Mein Kampf."  [camp = Brit slang for effeminate.]

You all know it ended in tears,
He blew up the world for 6 years,
Till finally he'd hunker
Down there in his bunker,
And die, and the world gave three cheers.

   * * *

* And so Hitler's dinger was shorn,
But no, it had not wholly gorn;
Genetic mutation
In strong radiation,
Was how Tony Blair soon was born.

(insert dictator/politician/lawyer/boss of your choice in last line.)

If you can stand more about WW2

you could try this.

more historical revelations

main menu.

Last updated: Wed, 10 Jan 2001.