A garden centre in Hartsville has been ordered to clothe its naked statues in sarongs and bikini tops to spare the embarrassment of the citizens.

In Hartsville, down in Tennessee,
No more naked statues you'll see.
The folk think it wrong
So they now wear sarongs!
How prudish can some people be.

On all moral guardians a pox!
Just send 'em here, they'd have some shocks.
Out back, midst the flora,
Our statue, Pandora
Is blatantly showing her box.

And if you should stand on her base,
And looked in the neighbouring place,
There's Jean, keeping cool,
On edge of her pool,
And clothing? She hasn't a trace.

And ladies, here's Jeans boyfriend, Dan.
He isn't too hunky a man,
But look at the size
Of that, 'twixt his thighs,
And take it all in, Jeanie can.

And when you've to Hartsville returned,
Please practise this stuff you have learned,
Don't hide flesh from sight;
Enjoy the delight
Of what in the past you have spurned.

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Monday, April 12, 2004