My mother said I never should,
With gypsy girls play in the wood.
But like any kid,
That's just what I did,
And did things that I never would...
I learned to bake hedgehogs in clay,
And how to skin rabbits, and May,
The long-legged vixen,
My eyes most would fix on,
And later fine games we would play.
We'd find us a nice shady glade,
She'd start to disrobe, and I prayed,
That when she had viewed
Young Ogg in the nude,
She'd reckon that I made the grade.
I rogered her three times or four,
But still the bitch screamed out for more,
Got in such a lather,
That up came her father,
And told of my pitiful score.
She kicked up a mighty commotion,
But daddy he had him a notion
To increase my powers,
To stay up for hours,
And mixed up a strange herbal potion.
The sight of it turned me quite pale,
It tasted like bad ginger ale,
It smells like the crap
From a long-blocked sink trap,
But to satisfy girls it won't fail.
So come along folks, take my tip,
Close eyes, hold your nose, take a sip.
Compared with viagra,
This stuff's like Niagara,
Compared to a leaky tap's drip.
So fellas, to maintain your mast,
The answer I have here at last,
OK it may killyer,
But you'll have a pillar,
Like you never had in times past.
So if with those girlies you're dallyin'
Get Roquard (TM) and you'll be a stallion,
Now you'll change the life,
Of your girlfriend or wife,
Send now, only five bucks a galleon... er gallon.
Roquard is the trade mark of Ogg Enterprises Inc, and is licensed by the Food and Drug Administration of Outer Mongolia as a contraceptive aid for dachshunds, (when used in conjunction with a staircase.) NOTE: All warranties are void once the package has been opened. Handling charge:$9999.98 per order. Lead shielding is returnable at the purchasers expense.
Last updated: Thu, 01 Nov 2001