There's a battered yellow Transit standing by the dockyard wall, (And for all you pesky foreigners out there: That's a multi-purpose van that's known to Britons one and all, And the French who call the thing Vin Ordinaire.)
So now we have that clear: that van is standing by the wall, And it's known to tars from England and abroad, And a greasy hotdog vendor by the name of Harry Ball, Sells cheap pies from the little yellow Ford.
In the evening of the day, Many seamen pass that way, And they gather round the Transit's welcome light, And those fellows big and little Spend their cash on Harry's vittals, Ere they cruise out for the ladies of the night.
Well 'twas there I first met Betty, She came strolling down the jetty, And she asked me if I'd like to go to town, She knew a spot, she said, With a springy double bed, And she said that I'd have change from half-a-crown.
But i'd just come ashore, my lads, with money I'd a load, So bought her, ere we wandered arm in arm along the road, A cheese pie from that little yellow Ford.
I ambled in a trance, Dreaming of that ancient dance, Performed with that young lady at my side. I'd soon get very sweaty, With young Betty from the jetty, For truth to tell, 'twould be my first e'er ride.
Well she fed me rum and brandy, So I grew most monstrous randy, And the last I knew, the room was spinning round... As I wakened in the morn, I found my pocket book was gorn, And there I was a-lying on the ground.
I staggered to my feet and grabbed my skull - the pain was killing, Then fumbled through my pockets, found a penny and a shilling... I mean, guys, don't that make you yell "Oh God!"
Here's the original, of which that is some sort of parody.
The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God By Mitton Hayes & Cuthbert Clarke (1911)
There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Kathmandu; There's a little marble cross below the town; And a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of 'Mad' Carew, While the yellow god for ever gazes down. He was known as 'Mad'Carew by the subs at Kathmandu, He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell, But, for all his foolish pranks, He was worshipped in the ranks, And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well. He had loved her all along, With the passion of the strong, And that she returned his love was plain to all. She was nearly twenty-one, And arrangements were begun To celebrate her birthday with a ball. He wrote to ask what present she would like from 'Mad'Carew.. And jestingly she made pretence that nothing else would do ... But the green eye of the little yellow god. On the night before the dance 'Mad' Carew seemed in a trance, And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars, But for once he failed to smile, And he sat alone awhile, Then went out into the night ... beneath the stars. He returned, before the dawn, With his shirt and tunic torn, And a gash across his temples ... dripping red He was patched up right away, And he slept all through the day, While the Colonel's daughter watched beside his bed He woke at last and asked her if she'd send his tunic through. She brought it and he thanked her with a nod. He bade her search the pocket, saying, 'That's from "Mad" Carew', And she found ... the little green eye of the god. She upbraided poor Carew, In the way that women do, Although her eyes were strangely hot and wet. But she would not take the stone, And Carew was left alone With the jewel that he'd chanced his life to get. When the ball was at its height On that still and tropic night, She thought of him ... and hastened to his room As she crossed the barrack square She could hear the dreamy air Of a waltz tune softly stealing thro' the gloom. His door was open wide, with silver moonlight shining through; The place was wet and slippery where she trod; An ugly knife lay buried in the heart of 'Mad' Carew ... ‘Twas the vengeance of the little yellow god. There's a one eyed yellow idol to the north of Kathmandu; There's a little marble cross below the town; And a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of 'Mad Carew While the yellow god for ever gazes down.
Last updated: Thu, 28 Jun 2001.