In Norway, surrounded by pig-
eons, lived three goats, high on a ridge;
A great game they'd learnt,
But happy they weren't...
They needed a fourth one for bridge.

This lack, on their hearts took a toll,
So rousing themselves took a stroll,
Way down from their eyrie,
'Til feeling quite weary
They came to a bridge, with a troll.

Now trolls, kids, despite what you see
In books, are as nice as can be,
Just misunderstood;
And this one's real good
And calls herself Rosa Trollee.

But duty means that she must call,
In tones rather loud: "Hey you-all!
That trip-trap vibration
O'er my habitation,
May cause the whole structure to fall...
"...Like London's millennium folly."
"Hey hey," said the goat. "Oh how jolly!"
They thus with indecency
Found the right frequency,
And tramped, yelling "Troll, get your brolly."

So soon then the bridge lay quite shattered;
The troll, Rosa, cut, bruised and battered.
While on the far shore,
Where they'd ne'er been before,
The goats mocked and giggled and chattered.

 * * *

A farmer comes in his Daihatsu:
"A billy goat! I'm gonna catch youI've got a grain mill,
And filling the bill,
To drive itI need strength, and that's you.

"And nanny, we'll get milk from you;
And baby, I reckon you'll do,
To make some kid gloves,
Which my missus loves,
And also a nice tasty stew."

 * * *

And with the demise of the goats,
The troll looks across the great moat,
And gathering her wits,
And all of the bits
Of the bridge, she soon builds her a boat.

She ferries the people across
That stream at a reas'nable cost,
As business expands,
She takes on more hands,
And rakes in the cash as the boss.

And soon she is living real fine,
As head of a transport combine,
Owns buses and trains,
Owns trucks, ships and planes,
And lives in a schloss on the Rhine.

 * * *

The moral?  There's plenty to choose;
One:  Ferrymen must have their dues.
Two:  Building your pile,
Choose substance, not style,
Or your reputation you'll lose.



Dedicated to Norman Foster, the designer of London's millennium footbridge - "A 
blade of light spanning the Thames" - shut down after two days through excessive 
sway due to people daring to walk on it.

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Last updated: Sat, 8 Jul 2000.