Faust Among Equals.
As I through the streets of Southampton was rovin'
I spotted a man, on his head horns attached.
I saw, looking southward, his feet they were cloven.
He smiled as one horn root he idly scratched
He said: "I hear, sir, in your coat coins a-jingling,
And surely you are such a very fine buck,
And that, sir, is why from these hundreds I'm singling
You out, as a man who would dare chance his luck.
"I'll play with you poker, pontoon or gin rummy."
And as all that day I'd been hitting the booze,
Because my best girl had played me for a dummy,
I thought, what the hell, I have nothing to lose.
We went to a pub called the Juniper Berry,*
Sat down at a table, commenced to imbibe.
I looked round, the customers drinking seemed very
Peculiar in ways that I cannot describe.
Now as you've all guessed, what occurred there's not funny.
While fuzzy with drink old Beelzebub stole
Through tricks with the cards every cent of my money,
And finally, too, I had ransomed my soul.
"This selling of souls, is all clap-trap," you mock me.
"Nobody believes such in this day and age.
That stuff's only said by some ham with mock-cockney
Accent while playing a part on the stage."
But I'm down in hell for an infinite future,
For colleagues I've many a woman and man,
Each chained to a desk with a phone and computer,
To plague you with e-mail and telephone spam.
*Juniper Berry, a once-notorious pub frequented by those who loved their fellow man.
Monday, August 05, 2002