Now Phineas Fogg made a bet,
To do what no one had done yet:
To get 80 lays,
In 81 days,*
So condom-stocked, off the man set.

He started by plundering the crotch
Of girls English, Irish and Scotch,
And then a Welsh screw,
Both human and ewe,
And marked on his cane one more notch.
4
And next he gave more than a touch
Of dick to gals French, Belgian Dutch,
And while in the region
A swede and Norwegian
And Dane, (not the dog, that's too much.)
10
Italian, Greek and Albanian,
A swiss roll, a Finn, a Romanian,
And then hair disturb
Of Kosovan, Serb,
Plus Portuguese, Russian, Ukrainian.
21
Next Austrian, Estonian, Omani,
Iranian, Turk, Pakistani,
To Saudi, then back,
Filled a crack in Iraq,
Then Syrian,  Turkmenistani.
31
Egyptian, Jordanian, Algerian,
Ghanaian, Ivorean, Liberian,
To Chad and the Gambia,
To Mali and Zambia,
Zimbabwean chicks, and Nigerian.
43
Tunisian, then Spaniard and Libyan,
South African next, and Namibian,
And then went out seekin'
A fine Mozambiquan,
Then headed off for the Caribbean.
49
But first he must stop off at Aden,
To ravish a Yemeni maiden,
And after a nap,
A Chinese and Jap...
I think his libido is fadin'.
52
But no, here I must be mistaken,
He's ramming a lovely Jamaican,
A Cuban, Barbadian,,
A chic Trinidadian,
And one from St Kitts who's not fakin'.
57
And next our man's off to Guyana,
To proffer his throbbing banana,
To Chile, Peru,
The Argentine too,
Colombia, Brazil, Mexicana.
 64
 From Ecuador off to East Asia,
 To Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia.
 While shagging a Burman,
 A touristing German
 Gets tupped and at speeds that amaze ya.
 70
 And no, he's not given up yet;
 There's gals in Nepal and tibet,
 In Bangladesh, India,
 A Cypriiot minge, a
 Maltese, and a Latvian pet.
 77
 He reckons there's just 3 to do,
 So hops on a flight to Peru,
And lest he's miscounted,
A Paraguayan's mounted 
Reducing his quota to 2.
 
But which Merkin state should he choose
To pick his penultimate cooze?
Can't find one, goodbye-ee,
He's off to Hawaii,
For one of his most pleasant screws.

So where for his last? I can tell
You this: that he knows very well,
To Canada land,
Where ladies are grand,
And they all go like Eskimo Nell.

*Read the book. It's all to do with time zones and the earth's rotation.

More demolition of classics....

Main list....

Tuesday, December 14, 2004