Tiddoxes, an ancient Egyptian,
Wrote poems of fact and of fiction,
In form hieroglyphic,
They're prob'ly terrific,
But thus far defied all decryption...

But Tiddy's now taken his biro,
And gone off to study those hiero-
glyphs so mysterious,
He seems very serious,
He's off on a steam boat to Cairo.

- Ermintrude.

 * * *

I've studied the papyrus scrolls,
Concealed in odd cavelets and holes
Midst desert sand dunes.
I've studied the runes,
And feel I'm achieving my goals

I've disproved the tale that the sphinx,
Whose sphincter, sand-clogged, many thinx,
Caused humps on the camel,
There's evidence damn-all,
But it did give its penis some kinx.

The traders who sail on the Nile,
Are wizards at con-tricks and guile,
They'll sell you sunglasses,
And fruit and molasses,
And potions of love in a phial...

And yes, so the 'glyphics are tellin'
They conned even sweet Trojan Helen,
They sold her the keys o'
That structure at Giza...
The first case of pyramid sellin'.

But Erm, I can't come back to thee,
I've still got a mystery or three
To solve: Did Osiris,
The god, spread a virus,
And did that bug kill the Dead Sea?

more nonsense

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Last updated: Sun, 22 Jul 2001.