A couple of weeks before the following saga, a woman from guide dog association came out, monitored me walking with long cane, said she was happy for me to do that, but would see about dog alternative I was, however, a low priority.

Week 1.
On Monday the local area manager of the Guide Dog Association came out to see me. He asked a lot of questions about my mobility etc tapping away on a lap-top, then pretended to be a dog and led me down the road and back. He sounded rather discouraging, but said he'd come back the next day with a borrowed dog to see how I got on with that.

Tuesday, he arrived with a dog - curly coat retriever crossed with labrador. A very strange beast according to my wife. She says it's the ugliest dog she's ever seen, and looks as if he's had a bad hair day - the cross with lab having flattened most of his curls. So I walked up to the village with this, and back, to be told that most of my performance was poor, but as I'm even worse with a long cane it seems a dog is my best bet, but due to my lack of balance and failure to walk in a straight line it won't be a standard run-of-the-mill dog I need... but I'm in with a chance. He's coming back again tomorrow with the same beast to give me another walk, then, unless I foul things up completely, I'll be waiting for such a dog to be available. This obviously won't be Barber, the one I had today, which is a shame as I liked himand he seemed to like me.

Wednesday: Came out again with dog. I walked the beast up the road and back, to be told that my follwing skills were poor, my anticipation was poor, my balance was poor, my ability to walk a straight line was non-existent, but as my long cane walking was even more useless I'd be put on the waiting list in the top priority group, but due to the special requirements of my lack of balance etc it would need a special dog and could be 12-18 months.

Thursday, (today) He came out again with the same dog, which my wife says is the ugliest dog she's ever seen,) and we went on a longer walk. I tripped over and probably would have fallen had it not been for him catching me. We get home, and he starts on again about special requirements, that I need a robust dog that can correct my erratic wanderings, that I need a dog not easily distracted, a country dog, not like the town dog that is ugly bug Barber, says he'll come again tomorrow with the same dog, then on

Saturday bring more paperwork, essential dog equipment, that I can have the mutt to stay with me until the following Wednesday, whereupon I start training with it!
Talk about shock and awe, my flabber has never been so ghasted. Was getting the negative vibes all the way through until then. So unless I push it under a truck tomorrow, I gotta dog!! Even if it is the ugliest one in the world. (But it is cute, anyway.)
Yippee!

A few notes before I continue: Guide dogs here are trained thusly: for the first year they are sent out to puppy walkers who teach them what any dog ought to be taught, then to the Dog Supply Unit where they are given the guidance training. When this period is finished the successful dogs are matched with a potential partner. This matching involves size, temperament, environment future handler's skills etc. So Barber went through this and got matched with some man in Dorset, (next county along the coast.) This man died, (not through being pushed under a bus by Barber,) after about 5 months, and so came back to the Guide Dog Association.
Tim, the local area boss, knew the dog, and knew me, and reckoned we'd suit each other. He says the dog will try to see what he can get away with, so to be firm with him, but I'm sure he's no worse than my previous ones.
He's a big dog, so he can easily take things off a table, and Tim said he'd been known to help himself to a loaf of bread. All he's had here is a toy which was meant for him anyway, but give him time...
The poor boy's been moved about a lot - apparently he was boarded out twice, presumably due to the previous owner's ill-health, has spent the last week with Tim, and now he's here... so it'll take him a while to realise he's staying, I guess. He's spent his first night here. Tim said he might squeak the first night, but apart from a couple of groans he seemed all right. We've set up his bed in the room where the computer lives.

Uh-oh, another explanatory note... the dog has a "play-collar" which he wears around the house, and when he's not working. This is fitted with a bell, so I know where he is. So, every time I woke up and turned over, he must have heard this, as there was a jingling of bells outside the door, but his bed did seem to have been slept in, so he can't have spent all night walking the floor. I don't think he likes the sound of my computer, as he hasn't been spending much time in here. (My previous one didn't to begin with, but got used to it.) So he's here from now on, getting used to the place, then I start training with him on Wednesday. That will be done from home - in the past I've gone off to a training centre, but there have been great shakes-up in the charity due to mis-management and these have been closed, training being from home or at a hotel. In the past, when we had other dogs in the house, the hotel would have been preferable, but with him alone, there won't be the distractions.

A day or so later:
I fed the dog this morning and let him out in the back garden (Br = back yard, US) and thought he'd gone to sleep... but in fact he had just gone. Erm went round all the neighbours trying to find him while I stood calling him and blowing the whistle, which he's trained to respond to. There was no sound from the bell on his collar for a long time, then at last a faint tinkle, and eventually he arrived in one of the neighbouring gardens. Separating this garden from ours is a highish wall and the back of a garage, but between the two the wall is only about 4 feet high... and there is a fixed stone bench in our garden not far from this point. So the mutt had used this as a stepping stone to get over. The problem was, there was no corresponding stepping stone on that side... so he couldn't get back. There was no-one at home, and this garden was as secure as we thought ours was, so we couldn't get him out either, until another neighbour hopped over the wall and we managed to persuade Barber to put his front feet on the wall and his hinder end was picked up and the brute returned.
Now we had a neighbour trapped in this area, but the loan of a chair achieved his return also. The dog had obviously found a way out of this garden, as he hadn't been there earlier when Erm had looked, so I don't know how far he had got. This gap is now being filled and the brute will have to find another escape route.
Owning dogs is fun...

And now to the training:

Wednesday we went out, Tim, the instructor, having a second lead on Barber, a sort of dual control, for most of the trip.

Thursday, I was on my own, with him walking immediately behind. Both dog and I made many mistakes.

Friday: Off we went again. I think I did pretty well, correcting many of the dog's mistakes with prompting. There was only one big mistake, off the road so there was no danger. It's difficult to describe., but I'll try: we take a gravel track along the edge of the heath. The main track goes straight on but I have to do a right turn into another track, then after a few steps, turn left onto a grass track for another 15 yards to a gate at the edge of a paved road, which we then cross. It's difficult for me to find this right turn, so we're encouraging the dog to find the gate by hanging a bag of doggy treats on it. And Barber's smart enough to find that! Too keen, in fact. No right and left turns for him.. straight towards it, which wouldn't matter except for the fact that either side there are drainage ditches alongside the right hand gravel track, except for where the official grass track joins it... so, I'm in the ditch! It's a good job we've had plenty of dry weather. We had a second try, and he was perfect. Still, there's a long way to go yet, training usually takes about 3-4 weeks. The only building we've yet been in on the trip is the Post Office, and we seem to be doing that bit OK, he finds the door and his way to the counter.

Week 2:

Saturday: Distraction testing. While on our walk Tim started making "Coochie-coo" noises and saying the usual stupid things that people say to guide dogs, "Isn't he beautiful" etc and I had to keep the dog concentrating on what he was supposed to be doing. He was very good, and indeed he doesn't normally get distracted by other dogs.

Sunday: Day off. Took Barber out for a walk, Erm and I, on an extending lead. (Not allowed to let him off the lead until I've had proper training to get him back.) Barber was very happy about the outing. Heard my first cuckoo of the year.

Monday: Barber had been on a treasure hunt overnight, raiding the kitchen worktop. Found his bed full of containers, tea bags and even, for some reason, a newspaper. He'd eaten a packet of cheese sauce mix... but it doesn't have seemed to done him any harm. Today was obstacle avoidance day. Tim set up various things to block the sidewalk at points along the route and dog and I had to sort out our way round them. I don't think we did too badly on that. Barber lost concentration later in the walk and went astray a couple of times but I got him back on course.

Tuesday: Went by car to a part of Southampton round a fairly busy shopping street. Only bumbed into one person who had just come round the corner into our path. Then it was "traffic". This involves teaching the dog to disobey you! Someone in a Guide Dog Association car drives towards you while you're waiting to cross the road; you tell the dog to go... and if he tries it, you tell him off. The first time, Barber stood up but did nothing more, (a semi-fail), but he's an intelligent dog and thinks "I know this game" and did the rest of these "near side" exercises perfectly.
Then the more difficult, "far side" version. A car now approaches on the far side of the road, the dog should stop in the road before it reaches the car, obviously. (What you're supposed to do next is stand there until the car has gone. With each dog I've argued that it's better to return to the sidewalk you started from, but they are adamant about it.) Of course, this time Barber has more time to recognise the car and isn't thinking: " Help, I gotta stop", he's thinking: "I know that car, I wonder who's driving it?" But we didn't do too badly on it.

Wednesday: To Southampton again, another "traffic" session with the car approaches more mixed up, and including cars coming in and out of gateways, followed by letting the dog loose on Southampton Common to enjoy himself with lots of other dogs, and practising recall - dog coming back when whistled. He's very good at that at present. (They usually get worse the longer you have them.

Thursday: Back to the local streets, Tim now trying to keep further away so more is left to me. Pretty disastrous. Nearly went out into the main road twice and generally made a mess of things. Second session in the afternoon with a variation of route to visit the local pharmacy/drug store. Again not brilliant, but the whole purpose is to find these problems to fix them.

Friday:Tim said, on the phone: "I'll be watching from a distance." Set off. Dog was distracted very much. (Found out later that Tim was out of sight, but the wind direction meant that Barber was scenting him, for the first part of the walk.) Straightened the dog out OK though until... There's a paved road, very quiet, with no sidewalk, leading toward the forest. As a hill (down) starts, the paving turns to gravel. At the foot of the hill is a little stream with a 3 foot wide bridge over it( no handrails - that's for sissies.) That's at the left hand side. The main portion is a ford for the occasional vehicle, and on the right another track leads up to a house. We walk down the right hand side of the paved road. Once the gravel starts, up until now, the dog has crossed to the left hand diagonally to get to the bridge, where he's supposed to stop, with front feet on it. (He normally doesn't, and starts to walk over it, and has to be brought back, but that's another story.) So we start down the hill. Just before the bridge the ground starts to rise, so I know where I am from this. And so it was... but no bridge and we walked for 10-15 paces. I figured we must have gone wrong and went back down to where we started. We must have done this three times. I nearly shouted for Tim, but thought, I'll push him on until we hit the hedge on the left side of the track, then we must be OK. So we went a little further, I found the stream with the walking stick I have in my other hand, so were nearly there, I guess, then a woman asked if I were lost and set me straight.
** So problem now solved, will in future tell him "over" (= move left).

Week 3:

Saturday: Tim walked along behind me this time, (lack of confidence?) and it was fairly uneventful except for a bit of a cock-up on my part regarding a van parked on the sidewalk.

Sunday: Day offTook Barber to a spot with lots of dogs and people walking them, but the poor brute still had to stay on his extending lead, or he could have had lots of fun. Normally on these occasions people say: "Is that your guide dog? Isn't he gorgeous?" This time it was "What *is* it?" then when we got home, I'd just unloaded Barber and a man said "I hear you have a new guide dog. Would it be all right if I had a look at it."
I pointed to Barber.
"Is *that* it?" he asked incredulous.
(I've since found that David Blunkett, crooked MP, as most politicians are, who, for political correctness was given senior posts... (sorry I'm ranting) Well he has had 4 or 5 of these curly coat/lab monsters.

Monday: Usual route. Tim observing from a distance. Just past the stream mentioned above there is a gate into a cemetery, and I walk through this, as it's a much smoother walk. There are several paths through this and our route is to head east for 70 paces or thereabouts, tell the dog to find a left turn in order to continue north. This time he missed the turn, so I reversed and returned to the entrance gate and we did it on the second try. Further on, on a sidewalk we did a similar reverse as I thought wrongly that he'd gone up someone's drive. That's OK got out of potential problems safely.
Got back home, Tim appeared.
"Well, it seems I'm being made redundant. If you can do that consistently, I'll sign you off as qualified on Friday. We're not expecting perfection {in your case} but safe travel, and you did that today."
So, was it a fluke... wait for the next exciting instalment.

Monday pm: Wife and I took Barber on the lead to show him the bank, pharmacy and doctor's. This route is the final stage of our usual "block walk" in reverse - walking along the main road through the village all the way.

Tuesday: Usual block walk, one errror corrected with no problem.

Wednesday am: To bank and pharmacy with Tim in close attendance - no problems.

Wednesday pm: The block walk, with Tim at a distance. All pretty well until we reached the bank on the homeward leg. Dog had been in there last time out so thinks: that's where we go, and turned in to the forecourt. I ordered him out again and we finished up at a kerb. Having got myself disorientated by this time, and thinking it was the next minor road to cross, I told the dog "Forward, crossing the main road, (cars having to stop... no screaming of brakes so it couldn't have been *that* dangerous,) Uh-oh, so much for my chances of going solo after Friday.

Thursday: To bank and pharmacy. All manner of cock-ups on the way out, probably due to my confidence having been reduced and dog picking up on it. On return, was ready for dog's manoeuvres at the bank and got him past that OK. (Tim assures me that he'll soon learn we only actually go in there on the outward journey and won't attempt it on the way home.) Tried fouling up the penultimate road crossing but arrived home in one piece,.

Friday: Wife off on coach holiday to Llandudno for 5 days. Did the block walk, all going perfectly until Barber decided to investigate the alley alongside the Indian restaurant, and, having been pulled back from that, the hardware store and barber shop. Perfect from then on. But then...
Barber goes missing. Stood outside the house whistling the brute. No response. Phone Erm, who's now halfway to Wales, to let her know, and trainer Tim who says he'll come out.
Go back to whistling. My son and friend arrive having been informed by Erm, and search a few neighbouring gardens. Mor whistling, then jingle of bells from the rich people's house at the back. Can't see through the 8 foot high fence, but phone Tim to tell him while sending the boys round to try to fetch Barber.
Tim says he's on his way and will continue, which is just as well, as you'll hear.
Boys come back. Can't get into back garden of the house, gated and padlocked.
Tim arrives, finds hole where dog escaped and forces himself through the fence, returning a few minutes later with the comment: "You nearly had a dead dog there." He'd hauled him out of a swimming pool from which he was scrabbling to get himself out.
Boys patched up all visible holes that a cat could get through.
We've lived in this house for about 35 years and for all but one of those years have had dogs, and not one has, until now got out of the place. And this mongrel has done it twice in a fortnight!
So, for the next few days at least, he'll not go anywhere outside the house except on an extending lead.

Friday pm: Walk up to shops and back, not too bad, he tried a few tricks but most of the time he was very good.

Week 4:

Saturday: To the forest with son and his wife. Dog had a free run for a short period. No problems.

Sunday: Nothing.

Monday: Block walk, no problems except dog detecting Tim's presence and thus much distracted initially. Plus, rain overnight had livened up the smells so he missed the complicated turn, but no problem.

Tuesday: Same route. Lots of obstacles and distractions but I think we did pretty well. I sorted out most of his errors with no problem, if not strictly according to the book. Again lucky to get out for the hour's walk in break between the showers.

Wednesday: Drizzle. Lots of wet bushes to brush against. (tell the dog to get "over" but the sidewalks are so narrow he doesn't have much choice.) He did a couple of silly things but I got him back on course, with Tim in close proximity. Him being so close made me think we are nowhere there yet but...

Got home, he said: "I think I can qualify you to work that route. I'll still be out to teach you other things, but sign here, gimme the money and the dog's yours."
When he'd rescued Barber from the pool he was saying "That's a 30,000 pound ($60,000) dog we almost lost." High depreciation animal that... I paid the price today: 50 pence, that's $1.
So now the mutt's really mine.
It's a conditional sale, but unless I mistreat the animal or otherwise go completely stupid with him, I gotta dog.

Well, he's still here. Tried one more escape but didn't get far. Fences all around are about to be strengrthened/raised.

Here he is, looking sorry for himself after the pool rescue:

Tuesday, May 15, 2007