Adapted from true submissions to Britain's Child Support Agency.

Adapted from true submissions to Britain's Child Support Agency. 



Said benefits clerk: "Would you mind
Revealing if you'd be so kind,
The dad of this kid?"
"I dunno who did
The deed, I was took from behind.

She added: "While bent over, puking,
Out window, I'd no chance of looking,,
To see while I heaved,
What man had relieved
His passion with rear mounted fooking."
 
  * * *

And so the next claimant in came.
"I really don't know who's to blame,
It happened by chance
At an army camp dance,
And squaddies, they all look the same."
   * * *

In comes the third: "Sir, if it pleases
I've never had sex.  Here's my thesis:
I've wrote to the pope
In the sure certain hope,
That here's the return of Lord Jesus."


 
Said benefits clerk: "Would you mind
Revealing if you'd be so kind,
The dad of this kid?"
"I dunno who did
The deed, I was took from behind.

She added: "While bent over, puking,
Out window, I'd no chance of looking,,
To see while I heaved,
What man had relieved
His passion with rear mounted fooking."
 
  * * *

And so the next claimant in came.
"I really don't know who's to blame,
It happened by chance
At an army camp dance,
And squaddies, they all look the same."
   * * *

In comes the third: "Sir, if it pleases
I've never had sex.  Here's my thesis:
I've wrote to the pope
In the sure certain hope,
That here's the return of Lord Jesus."


Thursday, April 03, 2003