"I'll buy me a car," said Brock Badger."I think,
A battered, clapped out Austin Maxi.
I'll paint up the body lime green and rose pink,
And use the old heap as a taxi."

He ferried the ratlings to school, (Mousehole Lane,)
And ewes to their beaux in Ramsdell,
The bull to his heifer herd down in Cowplain,
And each honest soul paid his fare.

The piggis from Hog Wood to Boarhunt would ride,
To Goose Green the young gosling maid,
But one day old Reynard the fox leapt inside,
"To Foxcroft Drive, driver." he bade.

On reaching home, Reynard jumped out, with a jeer:
"Bye, sucker!" and left without paying,
And children, I'm glad that you weren't standing near
To hear what old Brock was a-saying.

Next day came a dog, built so low to the ground,
For transport from Hound Green to Bassett.
The fare for the trip being one doggy pound,
(One fifth of the dog's total assets.)

And as they drove on, thoughts so bitter and strange
Were filling the head of the driver,
And at journey's end, he refused to give change
For the poor little mutt's doggy fiver.

Brock yelled: "You're the cousin of that blasted fox,
Of whom my opinion is dim.
He fleeced me the way shearing men fleece the flocks,
You're change son, you go get from him."

So that will explain what is surely the case:
A hound, though kin, ain't a fox lover,
And also why many a dog will give chase
To cars, for its cash to recover.


    * * *

The dog in the above was obviously a dachshund, which means badger hound.
All place names are from Hampshire, and my thanks to the subscribers to uk.local.hampshire for their help in coming up with them.
Inspired by a "modern African legend", if that is not an oxymoron, about why dogs chase minibus taxis and goats run away.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003