I've been thinking about bashing Betjeman for a long time, but his complicated meter has put me off until now.
Indoor Games Near Newbury
In among the silver birches winding ways of tarmac wander
Past our little peasant hovel, in the village by the lake,
Chauffeur-driven, over-pampered, posh kids ride in their Lagonda
Off to stuck-up Wendy's party, lemon curd and Christmas cake.
Rich the makes of motor whir
Snug within, 'neath rug and fur,
They stay warm from nose to toes,
E'en the bloody chauffeur's feet are
Warm, that car's a damn good heater,
While our legs and arms are froze.
Now it seems, they're all assembled, out here once more all is still
Save the cooling engines ticking.
Through the shrubs our way we're picking,
Up unto the window creeping, peeping furtive o'er the sill.
Hear their new Victrola playing
Wendy's funny uncle saying
"Susie, Jane, sit on my knee, let's see what's hiding 'neath your frock.
Take your clothes off, Lucy, Beattie,
Then I'll give a little treatie,
Good girls, now I'll take my pants down, Have a feel of this hard cock."
Whispered we, with eyes a-goggle: "Bloody rich get all the pleasure."
Oh that dark and furry crevice, where old Freddy wet his fingers,
Our upbringing, calvinistic, kept from us that wondrous treasure...
But a sound, a door was opening, there we must no longer linger.
From the window soon we're missing,
In the fuel tanks first we're pissing,
"This way we'll get some revenge,"
Thus said Jim to Goff and I,
"On that lonely road past Stonehenge,
"Engines might well cough and die."
Good-bye Wendy, Jane and Susie, how I wish it had been me,
In that room, and not just peeping
With my own damp hand a-creeping
To those female spots mysterious, There between the waist and knee.
There among the silver birches,
All the bells of all the churches
Sounded as we crossed the meadows, hot despite the frosty air.
Wendy speeded my undressing
Susie's tits my lips caressing
Janie bends, my member pressing
Dreams that cause ejaculation, sticky make my slumberwear.
The original can be found at:
http://www.rosamundi.com/archive/1999/100999.html
but to save you the trouble, here it is... and I think it a lovely poem, even if, like most Betjeman, it makes me laugh.
Indoor Games Near Newbury
In among the silver birches winding ways of tarmac wander
and the signs to Bussock Bottom, Tussock Wood and Windy Brake,
Gabled lodges, tile-hung churches, catch the lights of our Lagonda
As we drive to Wendy's party, lemon curd and Christmas cake.
Rich the makes of motor whirring
Past the pine-plantation purring
Comup up, Hupmobile, Delage! Short the way your chauffeurs travel,
Crunching over private gravel
Each from out his warm garage.
Oh but Wendy, when the carpet yielded to my indoor pumps
There you stood, your gold hair streaming,
handsome in the hall-light gleaming
There you looked and there you led me off into the game of clumps
Then the new Victrola playing
And your funny uncle saying
"Choose your partners for a fox-trot! Dance until its tea o'clock!"
"Come on youngsters, foot it featly!"
I, who loved you so completely,
You, who pressed me closely to you, hard against your party frock?
"Meet me when you've finished eating!" So we met and no one found us.
Oh that dark and furry cupboard while the rest played hide and seek!
Holding hands our two hearts beating in the bedroom silence round us,
Holding hands and hardly hearing sudden footstep, thud and shriek.
Love that lay too deep for kissing --
"Where is Wendy? Wendy's missing!"
Love so pure it had to end,
Love so strong that I was frighten'd
When you gripped my fingers tight and
Hugging, whispered "I'm your friend."
Good-bye Wendy! Send the fairies, pinewood elf and larchwood tree gnome,
spingle-spangled stars are peeping
At the lush Lagonda creeping
Down the winding ways of tarmac to the leaded lights of home.
There among the silver birches,
All the bells of all the churches
Sounded in the bath-waste running out into the frosty air.
Wendy speeded my undressing
Wendy is the sheet's caressing
Wendy bending gives a blessing
Holds me as I drift to dreamland, safe inside my slumberwear.
Last updated: Tue, 26Dec 2000.