In the shade of the old apple tree, My lady once whispered to me: "Come love, eat this apple, Then we'll have a grapple." We did, and the snake laughed with glee.
So that was the start of it all, The church calls that day "mankind's fall." But to trade paradise For something so nice, That wasn't a bad deal at all.
'Cos really, that Eden was tame, I'd given each creature a name, Then what was to do, If I'd not learned to screw, Each day would have turned out the same.
For into each life rain must fall, Pleasure unbounded must pall, It's only the bad, Makes you 'preciate the glad, So hell, when you can, have a ball.
* * *
God first created young Eve, The pinnacle of his achieve- ments. None could surpass This fine piece of ass, "She needs though, a mate, I believe."
"Now Eve, you're too precious, I'm bound To say, to go tilling the ground, And other such labor. I'll make you a neighbor From this brainless ape that I found."
"He'll be bigger and faster and stronger Than you, and work for much longer. He'll think he's the greatest, 'Cos I made him latest, But baby, he couldn't be wronger."
"I'll give to that fellow a fetish, So Eve, if he starts to get pettish, Just a flash of your breasts (That's those lumps on your chest,) Will keep him in order, you bet-ish."
"I'll give him two balls and a penis. And if he begins to get mean, as He will, give a squeeze, Then he'll come round with ease, (I think that's a piece of pure genius.)"
"But just let him think he's the boss, A bit of pride's all that you've lost, He'll work night and day, And you'll get his pay, For now and again a quick toss."
Tiddy.
Last updated: Fri, 29 Oct 1999.